Moral morass



Well, I can understand that. I mean, Valley Ranch has become more of a bunny ranch, and most of the white lines some players see these days aren't on a football field. Michael Irvin, about as big of a star as there is right now, has been busted for cocaine, joining teammates Leon Lett and Clayton Holmes in facing drug charges. And it wasn't that long ago that we learned about the White House, rented by Alvin Harper and home to goings-on that were not quite as pure as the name suggests.

So, yeah, I can see as how this news would set some moral compasses spinning. This is, after all, America's Team, right? Here's hoping America has a good lawyer. 

And truthfully, some people have never really been all that comfortable with those scantily clad gals prancing about in short-shorts and cowboy boots. (They've never bothered me, but we're talking about conservative upholders of traditional family values here, linchpins of society, moral arbitrators of the masses - whether the masses requested such or not.) 

And all that money that Jerry Jones character has thrown around since buying the Cowboys? That IS obscene - not to mention his firing of Tom Landry, who I do believe had weekly if not daily telephone conversations with God himself. All these millions, all this excess - why, I wouldn't be surprised if one day this Jones character builds himself a sparkling palace with a TV screen as big as some people's houses - SHOULD offend good Christians.

Jesus said to feed the poor, house the homeless, take care of widows and orphans, visit the sick and the imprisoned. I seem to remember he got real mad once when he went into the temple and found moneychangers doing business there. He was a transient, often dependent on the kindness of strangers. He sought the company of outcasts and did not align himself with the fancy-pants folk of his day. I bet you Jesus wouldn't be up in Jerry Jones' luxury box, watching a bunch of grown men make millions of dollars to play a game.

"We cannot just stand idly by as Christian values and morals are trampled," said a fellow named Jack Burkman, part of a group called American Decency - now, who can argue with a bunch of fine citizens with a name like that? Talking to a CBS affiliate in North Texas, he went on: "We will do whatever we can to preserve family values in the country."

 Well, amen, brother, and about time.


It's 2014? And these decent people aren't planning to protest at AT&T Stadium - what the heck is that? What happened to good ole Texas Stadium, with potholes in the parking lot the size of Nate Newton's thigh? - because the drug use and prostitution and all-around amoral actions have gotten out of hand?

Whoa. Where have I been? All right then. What's got them so fired up? Performance-enhancing drugs? The NFL ignoring decades of evidence that concussions have long-term, potentially lethal effects? A commissioner - God almighty, when did THAT job become so important? - who suspends a player two whole games for beating his soon-to-be-wife unconscious?

No? Well Lord have mercy. What is it then? It must be truly terrible.

No, really. What?

What's got these bastions of home and hearth in such a lather is that the Cowboys have signed last year's SEC sack leader, a defensive end/outside linebacker who had six tackles in one preseason game for the St. Louis Rams? A young man who's overcome some pretty tough circumstances to become a pro football player and who happens to be gay?

That's ignorant, even by 1996 - heck, 1946 - standards.

I am sick of this. Sick. That's what this line of thinking is. That's what the people featured in a Rolling Stone article my friend shared on Facebook today are — parents who cut off their money, communication and whatever love they are capable of feeling from their children when they learn those children are gay. Some of these children, rejected by those who are supposed to protect them, find themselves on the street. I had to stop reading there. 

Look, be a bigot. That's your red-blooded American right. Hate gays, blacks, foreigners, women in the workplace, redheads, people with freckles or six toes, whatever floats your inbred boat. Great. Fine. Just stop fucking saying Jesus hates those people too. Because Jesus does not hate. That's the job of far too many of his followers these days. 

Bigotry is not a religion. It is a sickness. Jesus healed the sick. Maybe you should pray about that.